Finding Peace in the Unknown
“Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there's a big disappointment, we don't know if that's the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don't know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don't know.” — Pema Chödrön
How are you at dealing with uncertainty?
For most of us the answer is probably a nail-biting, heart-racing, “not so great.” This is the case for two primary reasons:
We are biologically programmed to fear the unknown. There was a time in our ancestral history when dark, unexplored places signaled real danger. Predators or enemies could be lurking. Why wouldn’t we be afraid? And then there’s our long-suffering buddy — the mind. When there is a “void” our negativity bias rushes in to fill it with all thoughts of worries and what-ifs. How often do you worry something GOOD is gonna happen vs something terrible? Not too often I’d imagine….
We are societally programmed to avoid uncertainty. Very few people walk around bragging about how little they know or how little control they have over their life. We all want to seem smart, capable, and like we’ve got our sh*t fully together. We scurry around making plans + schedules, taking new courses, hiring psychics and astrologers to ease our anxieties, and using ChatGPT to fill in any gaps…
And yet — there is so much we don’t know, and can’t know.
What I’d like you to consider this month is — how FREEING that can be.
If you are reading this in real time, you will have just experienced a Total Solar Eclipse, a totally not-so-subtle metaphor for embracing the unknown and befriending the darkness.
Unless the TikTok conspiracy theories come true and the world ends, maybe you experienced a bit of awe and wonder today — that has you thinking maybe it’s ok to not know it all. That not-knowing can be exhilarating and freeing — rather than terrifying.
For the past 3 months in my Shamanism course we’ve been studying Uku Pacha or the “underworld” in Andean Cosmology. We’ve been facing our fears, befriending our shadows, and realizing that —
the darkness isn’t just where bad stuff happens —
it’s the place from which all new life emerges.
Think of that! The womb where babies grow, the soil where a plant’s roots are fed and incubated…. And hey — don’t our BEST ideas often come “out of nowhere?”
If you’re not too scurred — I invite you to contemplate going on your own “underworld journey.” I invite you to say things like, “I don’t know what’s next but I feel hopeful,” or, “I’m not ready to make that decision yet. I want to wait and see what naturally unfolds….”.
What might be lingering in the dark crevices of your psyche, soul or life that is ready to come forth and offer new pathways for healing and growth?
Action: Share all your fears with your journal.
Make a list of all the things in your life that currently feel uncertain.
Next to each one, write one logical reason why it could turn out WELL using “and” to connect the statements, such as:
I’m worried my business is going to go under AND I have a bunch of new clients in the pipeline.
I’m worried about meeting someone to marry AND I’m putting myself out there by asking my friends to set me up.
Sometimes incredible, magical — better than could have been imagined — thinks come out of the darkness too. A part of you knows that. Let’s reawaken that part.
