Nervous System Regulation 101

A practical user's guide to your Self

I am thrilled that “Nervous System Regulation” has become common vernacular in recent years, due in large part to social media.

When I experienced extreme burnout back in 2012, Instagram was just for vibey filtered pictures and there was no public discourse on the nervous system — even in the spiritual/yoga/wellness girlie circles I belonged to.

I had to deep dive into scholarly research and heady textbooks about Polyvagal Theory and seek out under the radar practitioners to heal what I intuitively recognized in myself as dysregulation.

With the publishing of Bessel Van Der Kolk’s “The Body Keeps the Score” in 2014 and the subsequent proliferation of mental wellness content online, more and more people are recognizing the signs of dysregulation in themselves and seeking ways to work with and through it.

My hope is that we all find tools that free us from the often excrutiating physical, mental, and emotional suffering that stems from nervous system dis-ease.

Tools that are scientifically researched and accessible.

Teachers and practitioners with credentials and integrity, who don’t claim that ya know… their proprietary hip-opening somatic twerk class will magically heal your childhood trauma forever.

Nervous System healing is both incredibly simple (in terms of the methods that affect the most change) and — incredibly nuanced. Everyone’s system has unique patterning and will respond to various interventions differently. It’s important to get to know your own system FIRST — before entrusting someone else with its care.

What follows is a 101 Primer on The Nervous System, what regulation even is, how to work with your OWN nervous system, where to learn more if you’re curious and — various modalities out there that are both safe AND effective.

What is Nervous System Regulation?

Nervous system regulation refers to the process of keeping the body's autonomic nervous system (ANS) in balance, allowing us to respond appropriately to stress and return to a state of calm after the stressor is gone. **We’ll come back to this word “appropriately” — stay tuned.

The autonomic nervous system has two main branches: the sympathetic nervous system (aka SNS or orchestrator of the "fight or flight" response) and the parasympathetic nervous system (or PNS which allows us rest, digest, and recover). When we face a stressful situation, the sympathetic system kicks in, preparing our body to deal with the threat. Once the danger has passed, the parasympathetic system helps us calm down and return to a state of safety.

However, if we stay in a heightened state of stress for too long, our nervous system can get stuck in "fight or flight" mode, making it harder to relax, focus, or even sleep.

Couple IMPORTANT things to point out here:

FIRST — Lots of things can create a mild stress response like… I dunno, scrolling TikTok on your phone, multi-tasking, drinking caffeine, over-exercising (HIIT, anyone?), sitting too long, blood sugar spikes, etc. etc.

When looking at that list it may be easy to see that many of us (myself included) are cycling through stress trigger after stress trigger all day long. So, even a day that you perceived as mildly stressful may actually have created a lot of stress in your system. And, without a clear ENDING the stress response, your body may not know that the perceived “threat” has disappeared…

Sooo — although our PNS is naturally designed to kick-on — much like a thermostat when the temperature drops below a set point — it might not function properly without a little conscious effort from us. When the thermostat (aka stress level) is always hovering a liiiittle too high, the PNS isn’t sure it’s safe to relax.

So how DO we find our way back to balance?

Responsiveness over Regulation

Remember how I said we’d come back to the word “appropriately”?
The thing a lot of people miss on this topic is that — the goal is not to be perma-regulated.

We NEED the stress response to do many great things in this world such as hustle to catch a bus, show up with spark and PEP in a pitch meeting, or react quickly to an actual threat. Sometimes you need to fight, flee, or freeze and it would be INAPPROPRIATE not to.

Rather than being regulated ALL the time, we want our nervous system to be RESPONSIVE. SNS to kick on when it should, then turn off as soon as that option becomes available.

Chronic stress, health issues and trauma can all interfere with our system’s ability to respond appropriately but that’s a topic for another day. For now, I want to share one of the key physiological mechanisms for working with our stress / relaxation response.

UNDERSTANDING THE VAGUS NERVE

You may have heard people mention the vagus nerve or Polyvagal Theory as it relates to nervous system regulation.

I won’t do a deep dive on all that science here but at a high level — the vagus nerve (which connects the brainstem to the heart, lungs, AND digestive organs) acts as a bridge between the mind and body, playing a crucial role in calming the nervous system and helping the body return to a balanced, restful state after experiencing stress.

When the vagus nerve is stimulated, it helps slow down your heart rate, reduces blood pressure, encourages relaxation, and helps you feel safe and calm. So when I tell you that some weird little stretches or making humming noises will make you feel better and you’re thinking… is this a bunch of crap?

Nope! It’s just your vagus nerve getting gently coaxed into helping you chill TFO.

In the resource section below you’ll find some unbelievably simple ways to increase your “vagal tone” so that your PNS has an easier time switching on after a period of stress.

TIP ONE: DAILY HYGIENE

I often say to think about your nervous system hygiene the way you do dental care. You absolutely brush + floss your teeth every single morning and every single night — without exception.

This process is neither long nor fancy, but gosh is it essential.

If you spent 3-5 minutes 2x per day doing gentle nervous system soothing exercises, over time you will ABSOLUTELY see the benefits (and you may even see them right away).

Breathing slowly into your belly for 5 minutes, stretching, foam rolling GENTLY (not digging into those glutes, friends), or doing one of the simple Somatic Exercises linked below is a great start. CONSISTENCY is key.

TIP TWO: HITTING THE “OFF” SWITCH

Studies show that it takes the PNS about 5 minutes to “switch on” after a period of mild to moderate stress. More intense stress may require a longer cooling off period.

One of my favorite tips is to include 10-15 minute breaks in your day to either take a phone-free walk or to lay down and do a guided or body scan meditation.

Completely silent or intense forms of meditation can actually trigger a sensitive nervous system, so play around with the teacher, length of time, and vocal tone that works for you.

Use case: if you have a really intense 2 hour meeting and an hour gap after — please oh please don’t slam yourself right into your Slack folder as soon as the meeting ends. Carve out that little break for yourself and know that somewhere around the 5-10 minute mark, your body is PHYSIOLOGICALLY healing with minimal effort on your part.

TIP THREE: DISCHARGE THE STRESS RESPONSE

There is a “stressor” (aka the thing that caused the stress — like an intense meeting or a car honking at you) and then there is the STRESS itself (aka the chemical and physiological reactions that take place in your body).

Nearly any form of exercise — as long as it isn’t TOO intense for your body — helps the body discharge cortisol and release stored stress.

The good news is that something as simple as a 30 minute brisk walk 3 days a week is enough but this is a place where you really and truly need to start listening to your body.

There may be days when you absolutely need to go punch something and kickboxing would be so healing for you AND there are days when an intense cardio workout would overextend you and leave you feeling drained…

It’s great to not be overly dogmatic or rigid with your workouts and instead — commit to a more flowing rotation of softer and more intense forms of movement that correspond to your energy, mood, and the demands of your life. MORE IS NOT ALWAYS BETTER when it comes to your nervous system.

TIP FOUR: UN-FREAKING PLUG

We are all — pretty much without exception — getting way too much screentime. Without getting all fancy about the blue light or the 5G waves, you can simply focus on the information overload.

Our PNS cannot kick in fully while it is processing new or stimulating information or visuals which is pretty much nonstop while looking at a device.

Create guardrails for yourself around screentime, particularly first thing in the morning and right before bed, and replace just 10 minutes you WOULD have spent scrolling with your nervous system hygiene. Then, if you wanna scroll… be my guest. I don’t expect you to give up tech entirely.

A great practice is also making Sundays a (nearly) screen free day if that aligns with your work and life. Digital detoxes are incredibly soothing and should be a part of your weekly routine.

TIP FIVE: CARVE OUT TIME IN NATURE

Studies show that hearing just 5 minutes of birdsong can ease mild symptoms of anxiety and depression. Why? Because evolutionarily, the sound of birds meant no predators were in the area which meant = we are safe.

Safe!

Even if you live in a city, you can find pockets of nature to escape into. Daily is great, but even a weekly visit to your local park or Botanical Garden or monthly commitments to hiking or fishing can give your system a reboot.

We are after all, just mammals.

Want more tips? Here are 43 ways to stimulate your PNS! You are sure to find something on here you actually enjoy.

RESOURCES

The below resources are vetted by me, and reasonably comprehensible for non-clinicians. Keep in mind, you can go REALLY deep and scientific on this stuff but tbh — sometimes the deep intellectual dive is merely a way to avoid doing the work that really matters (aka, putting the device down and taking some deep breaths, rather than bingeing another article).

And if you’d like to create capacity in your nervous system and complete some stress responses 1-1 with me, you can book a Somatic Experiencing session with me here.

BOOKS

“Activate Your Vagus Nerve” by Dr. Navaz Habib

“Anchored” by Deb Dana

“The Secret Language of the Body” by Jennifer Mann

“Walking the Tiger” by Peter Levine (founder of Somatic Experiencing)

PODCASTS

“Trauma Rewired” (the entire show!)

“Smart People Podcast” (episode with Dr. Stephen Porges, founder of Polyvagal Theory)

“Therapy Chat” (episode with Irene Lyon — Nervous System 101)

VISUAL, VIDEO & INTERACTIVE RESOURCES

Polyvagal Theory Chart

Window of Tolerance Image and Worksheet (via Mind My Feelings)

Somatic Movements PDF (easy! quick! effective!)