Devotion before Discipline to Cultivate a Spiritual Practice
"Devotion and discipline are like the two wings of a bird. Both are necessary for flying high in life." — Amma
If you’ve gotten deep into any type of athletic or competitive pursuit — you’ve probably been advised that you need discipline. You’ve got to stick to a routine, follow through on commitments, and stay focused on your long-term goals — even when temptation or distraction arises. No excuses.
When I first started meditating and healing my nervous system, I wanted to employ a similar approach. I was going to set a goal, make a commitment, and stick to it — no matter what. I was going to get CALM, god damnit. And I was going to wake up every morning at 5:45am in order to get there — come hell, late nights, or high water.
While I was a good soldier, and did get up most days — I never truly found the joy of my meditation practice. On most days it felt like a burden and I had to drag myself to the cushion. On more than one occasion, I attempted to wake up to meditate at the butt crack of dawn after working past midnight. Blissful and transcendent, it was not.
Trying to de-stress stressfully, just creates more (you guessed it) stress. So while consistency is absolutely key, you can’t be too rigid and forceful when engaging in a pursuit that you’ve committed to specifically to find more softness and fluidity in your life.
That’s why now with myself and my clients, I preach devotion before discipline (though you do need a bit of both).
So what’s the difference?
Devotion is driven by love and passion, while discipline is fueled by determination and willpower.
Devotion stems from emotion and inspiration, while discipline is all about practicality and consistency.
Devotion is often spontaneous and fluid, while discipline is orderly, unwavering and structured.
As spiritual teacher Sri Sri Ravi Shankar said, "Devotion is the soul of discipline. Without devotion, discipline becomes a burden."
I want you to fall in love with your practices. To find a style of meditating, breathing, moving, and being mindful that you yearn for — the way you are drawn to snuggle up under the coziest blanket or sit near a blazing fire on a cold night.
So what does that look like in practice? It means that sometimes you meditate before work, and sometimes you sneak in 5 minutes before a 1:30pm Zoom. Sometimes, you practice before bed. And sometimes — you skip a day or two entirely, and don’t feel one bit bad about it. You develop a loving relationship with the practice such that your body, mind or spirit knows when it is time.
I want you to return to your mat or cushion after an unintentional break and think — “My love! How I’ve missed you,” not — “gosh, I really fell off the wagon.”
Imagine you are cultivating a garden or learning to play the violin again (your old love from middle school). Devotion might inspire you to protect your beloved green children from invasive weeds or to practice for hours because you love the music and feel deeply connected to it. You wouldn’t need to be so disciplined — because you were driven by passion and love.
I hope that you take this concept and hold it close to your heart. I hope that you use it to begin a regular spiritual or mindfulness practice that fills you up and lights you up in every way.
I hope that if you struggle on the path, you are kind to yourself. Remember that your practice is an old and trusted friend. It will forgive you if you don’t text back for a week and will never hold a grudge.
Remember that you are worthy of devotion and of reaping the benefits of a consistent and JOYFUL spiritual practice.
Action: Open your journal and write a note TO your practice — whatever practice you are hoping to ritualize:
Start with, “Dear Meditation practice,” or “Dear phone-free walk,” and then tell your practice how you hope to engage with it. “I want to come together with you regularly, so I can feel more peace in my heart,” or “I want to see you at least a few times a week and see what emerges.”
In the oft quoted words of Rumi… “what you seek is seeking you.”
